Risk

Risk.

This was written as a spoken-word poem, it was made to be read aloud.

I’d known you for years, we grew up in the same town I used to listen to you talk about some new girl that you’d found

You’d talk about how you met like it was destiny How you’d fallen in love and you’re finally free But I’d roll my eyes because you’d say that every time As you kept banging on about your matching star signs And then the day comes when she leaves your heart And tears in apart and leaves it in two halves You’d put on a brave face and say “that’s how it goes” And I’d talk about how I wanna break her nose And you’d roll your eyes because I’d say that every time And we both know, I’d never last in a fight So all I could do is put my head on your shoulder And say things like 'it won’t matter when we’re older' I always did my best, to stop you feeling alone I’d turn up at your house if you weren't on your phone And we’d just sit there together, for hours on end I’m not sure I ever told you, you were my best friend. We had different friends in school, we ran in different circles It was probably that you were a boy, and I was a girl ‘cause

Looking back, that was the reason - which was really f*cking stupid

Just everyone assumed you can’t be friends with out Cupid I used to call you by your last name, you used to call me sis Until you found some new friends who began to take the piss But you’d listen to them more and more each day I can still remember feeling you, start to pull away

I’d never see you in the mornings, you’d be out late at night You’d be out there with your new friends, learning how to fight One day we stopped talking, one day I’d had enough When you covered your arms with ink, and you filled your veins with drugs

From that day forward, we lived deliberately apart

And we were no longer two minds with one heart The next few years were boring, I didn’t have you there So I learned to walk in heels and I learned to dye my hair It wasn’t the true me, I’d never claim it was I guess I did what you did, except I did it because I was feeling lonely, you’d pissed off somewhere else I guess that when I lost you, in a way I lost myself But those clearly weren’t your reasons, don’t tell me it’s the same

But I guess motives are irrelevant ‘cause at the end of the day We were both sell outs, both gave up on our dreams We both bowed to peer pressure and called it 'what was meant to be'.

We’d continue on the paths we picked, we’d both follow them blind

We’d move away from who we were, without a look behind You’d never find out where I’d end up, but I’d find out about you I think about that risk you took - and wonder if you knew

That taking that risk would take you away, from everyone you love And it wouldn’t make you cool, not something to be proud of Had you thought about where it would take you and where you’d end up

I wonder if you’d hit a point where you’d had enough I’d heard you went by a different name, but I don’t know if that was true

All I know is I hated that call, I got from your mum about you I guess the world didn’t here me worrying, didn’t hear me cry It didn’t hear me when I told it, you were too young to die.